Here if you need me...what do I need?

The other day I found myself in a situation not equipped with the tools I needed. I was alone, scared and didn't know what to do. So I just stood there, waiting I guess for the situation to fix it's self. It didn't, but sometime during this overwhelming situation, I looked up to see a book. Out of thousands of books, this book caught my eye and, for the moment, saved me. It's Here if you need me. It's not a mind boggling book, or a life changer. But in it and through it I have found many treasures.

So many people have asked how they can help. I always have the same reply....I don't know? I wish I knew how to help myself. But this book, in it's silly ways, has helped me know how to help others and how they can help me. Just be there. Sounds easy, but a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold can mean the world of difference.

In my book the author was asked after her husband had died if she believed in God, and if she did how could she after He took her kids dad and her husband. While thinking on that question, she remembers hours after her husbands passing her elderly neighbor whom she rarely saw, showed up with warm brownies and tears in her eyes and said, "I just heard and didn't know what else to do. I'm here if you need me." and left. The author said she saw then and there the works of God and felt Gods love. So I am not saying I need brownies I am just saying be like Him.

That's how I need you!

This is MY road!

My road to recovery is just like everyone of these pictures.....sometimes it is bumpy. Sometimes it is black and white and stormy, and sometimes I can see a rainbow at the end of the road. I like those days! There are more of those days too!
I was warned that my road will be bumpy, full of ups and downs, but my Heavenly Father has blessed me with an amazing husband and great support system. My Dad asked me one day if he could have done something different in raising me that would have prevented this from happening. "No, Dad. This is just one of my trials." With tears in his eyes he asked if he could take this trial for me. I know my husband would do the same for me. I am a blessed woman.

So as I progress down my road, I thank my husband for the unconditional love he has shown me. For his arms finding me in the night as I cry. For his prayers. I thank my Dad and Debbie for their prayers. For a my fathers love and concern. I am thankful for all my family and friends who have shown that no matter what, they are there. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and his love and my testimony of Him. All is not lost. He is real and hears my prayers. I matter. I am a daughter of God and He loves me.

Fragile! Handle with care!

Fragile. Easily broken, not secure.

Unlikely to withstand any sever stresses and strains, Laking emotional strength.

I am this box!

I hate it. I don't like it. I am not choosing to feel this way but still I wake to find myself not being able to handle my children. My own little ones I gave birth to. How is that possible, that my body that produced, them can't care for them? I take that back, the body can, the mind can't. I am fragile. There, I said it. Unfortunately it is going to take awhile for me to get "better". I am so thankful for everyone who has offered their love and support.